One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
 
Satan: "Why so glum?" Guy: "Why do you think? I'm in hell!" Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of 

fun down here. You a drinking man?" Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, 

wine coolers, diet tab and fresca. And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway." 

Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!" Satan: "You a smoker?" Guy: "You better believe it!" Satan: "All right! You're going 

to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - 

no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow, that's awesome!" Satan: "I bet you like to gamble." Guy: "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do." Satan: 

"'Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go 

bankrupt... you're dead anyhow." Guy: "WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!" Satan: "You gay?" 

Guy: "Hell, no!" Satan: "Hm, you gonna hate Fridays then."